i’m pretty sure this twitter account is how sexting works in night vale
i mean really
what is going on here
this is officially my new favourite thing
thank you for sharing it with us
SEXTS FROM THE VOID
dude i want there to be knotting etiquette in werewolf culture
like, I want consent to be a huge thing, because if you knot someone without them okaying it first a) you’re a bad person b) you clearly lack control over…
If someone doesn’t turn this into a FUCKING FIC I swear I will
i’m in favor of everyone writing one *G*
when i was a younger i used to go on this site where women would post stories about how they masturbated. the site was for science~ or whatever, but basically i was a gross 15 year old perving on other people. anyway, there was something on my dash about someone wanting a thing where derek needed to knot stuff? and like, now i want the thing where he’s creeping around online looking at alternative knotting methods. a lot of these other wolf dudes are into some weird shit, too. derek’s only ever used his hands before. and like he guesses things in the melon category make sense, but there’s also a few series of involved posts about this dude rigging some kind of thing with plastic wrap, tape, some pillows, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
and yet…. there’s still something kind of hot about it.
is there a secret line of sex toys you can buy? like - some wolfdudes talk about using the regular human-made sleeves, and boast about popping them. until someone links to you know, the baddragon of fleshlights and everyone is like ooooooooooooh.
Stiles meant it as a joke, really, the first time he made one. The scarves and hats in his Etsy store were doing pretty well, but his little online shop had always been a more of a side-hobby and less of a business, until, well.
So Scott complained once that his knot got cold when he was waiting for Allison to get out of the shower that one time, so Stiles knitted up a funny little garment for him as a present. He didn’t really expect the next day for Scott to clap him on the back and say, “Wow, dude, that was a great idea! You should make more, like in colors and stuff, I bet you could definitely sell ‘em.”
So here Stiles is at age twenty-three, successful entrepreneur all because of a crafting whim he had at one time, with a booming online business, three patented patterns, and five different employees to help him with the knitting. The cozies handmade by him sell out the quickest, though.
Stiles can pinpoint the exact day his Etsy store started spiraling into success with this one review:
fUCK YEAH FIVE STARS recomend the omega cent on hte yarn makes my knot feel feel sOO0oo good U shud knit some more and get sum of ur slick on there
Stiles had rolled his eyes at whatever Alpha wrote that, and then laughs when immediately after all of the available cozies had sold out in his shop and he started receiving frantic messages requesting more.
The comment that really put his product in the market, though was this review after that first comment:
As a fellow Alpha, I would like to apologize for the previous comment and remind everyone that selling Omega bodily fluids is highly illegal and suggesting that the inventor of this “knot cozy” prostitute themselves for your enjoyment is incredibly degrading. You should be thanking them for creating this marvelous creation; without a partner, knotting alone can be extremely uncomfortable, exposing your sensitive knot to the air can result in some health problems as well. Knotting with the “knot cozy” was extremely pleasant. You should patent this design, I bet you’ll make a fortune.
Your scent is also very nice.